picture imperfect

Friday, 14th of June -

a good day
 in fact a day of good:-
   good news
    good fortune
     good company
      good weather
       good ideas


the list is seemingly endless...

there I was sitting on a low wooden, slightly damp bench seat against the wire fence of my daughters' school. it was mid afternoon, school was finished. about fifteen children remained in the playground, waiting for the last bus, or parents who were chatting, or running late.  leaning back against the hedge which grows from behind the fence, the chill winter breeze kissing my cheeks and nose as I snuggle down into the scarf around my neck.

I watch my youngest daughter as she idly swings herself in circles around the basketball hoop, her golden hair plastered across her face, her mouth moving silently in some song or game or fancy - no doubt involving fairies and gnomes. a moment later she is off, absorbed into a game of chasing involving two or three other little girls of varying age, size and temperament.

my middle girl is holding court against five or six boys and girls, on the handball court. they good naturedly jostle each other for supremacy, arguing about rules and hierarchies.  dressed as they mostly are in blues, greens and purples, some barefoot and bare armed, others buttoned up in bright, bold coats or swathed in rich cosy woollen creations; they are beautiful, tousled, grinning children....

such a joy to behold.

as I look around at my surroundings, breathing in the colours of the children's clothing, the sunlight at the very tops of the gum trees, achingly cloudless blue sky, the mud and flowers and cubby house and buildings; as I close my eyes and listen to the singing, protesting, laughing, chanting children, the murmur of school gate catch ups among parents, the whistling of the wind through the leaves....I smile to myself and marvel....I am filled with gratitude.


good news today came in the form of a good scan result for my eldest daughter.  it followed a time of worry, and at times crippling anxiety resulting from a not so good scan result about two weeks ago. anyway, today for us felt like a reprieve. this positive result means my daughter can confidently take a month or so away from treatment for her cancer - the first break she's really had for about six months.  she has her first ever university exam early next week, and then is travelling overseas with her friends on the weekend. she was so relieved today and said she can finally allow herself to be excited about going away, without the background anxiety about being unwell.  as we walked through the hospital after seeing the oncologist, I couldn't resist doing a little jig and a jump in the air. I would have done a cartwheel if there was not a big ridiculous tiled column in the middle of the walkway.  we walked out of the controlled air of the hospital into a winter morning positively bathed in golden sunlight.  we giggled giddily as we remembered the cheeky, dodgy park i'd done in a doctor's carpark as we were running late and anxious to get to the appointment.

good fortune favoured me when I bought my regular friday raffle ticket on the street in nimbin later in the morning.  of course I got stuck doing odds and ends in the shop and was still around when the raffle was drawn and I won! $100!! again, I stood in the sun, grinning like an idiot, as I was handed a crisp, and unexpected greenback.

I've had a good idea today, but in it's execution, I wonder if it really was such a good idea, and I guess only time will tell....I bought some blackboard paint. I had a pantry built in my kitchen about a year ago and we suddenly had a big, unadorned, untreated fibreboard door, right there, in our space.  it's been yawning at me this whole time, begging me to paint it.  I've always been a fan of the public blackboard space, and have seen occasional masterpieces appear on them.  the last time I did this I painted a random smear on the wall above my fridge (which is one of those intense looking chest style ones which run on 12volt), in our old house on the mountain. that chalkboard was both a blessing and a curse at times! in that house we also had a big round chalkboard on the back of a huge wardrobe which formed the partition which allowed me a bedroom.  both of these boards attracted doodles, poems, flowers, stars and love hearts, whilst periodically annoying me with their dust and disorder....

anyway, I just went to paint another random smear, but the space is so much bigger and I couldn't make it look right, so I just painted the whole thing! and now I have this HUGE, BLACK panel in my kitchen, which impacts on the entire living space with it's....blackness....and now the damn thing is still yawning at me!! tomorrow i'll get some beautiful bright chalks and we can overwhelm that blackness with shopping lists and birthday wishes and phone messages and rainbows.

as I waited for the first coat of paint to dry I made myself a pot of tea.  it was a truly inspired pot of tea.  all I put in there was nettle and rose petals.  the result is lovely, clean and slightly sweet....so warm and fragrant.  i'm so inspired by that pot of tea that i'm thinking about buying a camera, so I can photograph the steam rising up off the rose petals, with their differing shades of pink and magenta, against the wholesome dark green of the nettles, nestling there in the mesh basket surrounded by butterflies on my ceramic tea pot.

and lest I paint too beautiful a picture of my immediacy let me tell you about the mouse which just ran across the arm of the couch where i'm sitting. and the other one which keeps running back and forth along the wall behind the fireplace. and the one I can hear in the kitchen, though whenever I go over there I can't find it. I caught two last night, in a live trap baited with peanut butter.  I released them under a tree when I dropped my kids off at the bus this morning.  I must say I felt a bit clever this morning, but now as the nightly rodent circus resumes in my living space I concede defeat, again, as I do every night.....