well, i'm confined to bed for the third day in a row. i realise i don't have much patience for being sick. it's only the flu, but it's really gotten me down. my head is stuffy and producing copious amounts of mucous, my chest hurts every time i cough, my joints are achy, my neck is stiff and sore.

i guess it's an opportunity to test out all the remedies i recommend to others in this situation, and i'm grateful i have all of these at my fingertips.

i just don't like it, though. i'm bored senseless....i've run out of books to read, and have resorted to one from my ten year old daughter's collection....and there's only so much iview one can watch.  i appreciate what a stretch it is for my eldest to stay positive when she has to lie in bed for five or six days at a time, feeling weak and nauseous from the chemo.  i'm always around for company, but really, what 18 year old wants to spend all day and all night hanging out with her mother??!!

she has risen to the occassion, however, and has been preparing food, washing up and generally giving the impression that she cares about the fact that i am feeling so unwell. bless her!

i have to say, this chemo thing has been more bearable than i expected, for all of us. while she has lost her hair, and feels pretty crap for the week or so after her chemo, she has managed to keep her weight fairly stable; she's eating pretty well - though she does have some weird pregnancy-like aversions and food desires!; her spirits remain good. i was worried about her having low immunity, and living in the middle of the forest with two younger siblings, bringing all sorts of snot and vomit home from school, but this has been okay, too.

she is going to uni one day per week in brisbane, driving herself up and back in her NEW car (!) but has had to miss one week in three due to chemo side effects.  the folk at UQ have been wonderful to her and are really making it as easy and accessible as possible for her.

so, she has taken it all in her ever graceful stride.  life goes on, and we just adapt.  i've been able to work two weeks out of three.  this has been really important for me, to keep some kind of social aspect in my life, and i really appreciate that my business partners have made it possible for me to dip in and out as life circumstances permit. the kids have had uninterrupted schooling and continue with music lessons, gym classes and soccer training.

so, as always, it seems the anticipation is so much worse than the reality.  i don't know why i'm surprised, as it's proven time and time again.  who was it who said 'all we have to fear is fear itself'?  no doubt a very wise woman.....