tips to surviving an emotional shipwreck

#1 EAT!
It's amazing how a good meal can change your perspective. Any meal, really! I accept that there are people who overeat when stressed. I'm just not one of them. My tendency is to starve when stressed.  I call it 'emotional belly' - I feel hollowed out from the inside, there is such a hunger in me, but I am incapable of eating.  This makes it difficult to have the volition to prepare food, too, so without a good meal in front of me to stave off the hunger, I eat a muesli bar, a handful of nuts, or an apple. Or nothing. There's a strange symmetry to the feeling of physical hunger, and the feeling of grief. For me, anyway.
Unfortunately, this physical body requires food to function well.  Without food, I get heavy in my body; my joints ache; my head hurts and I lack energy.  None of these things are conducive to the act of preparing food. And so it goes on.....
 
So, my first strategy for regaining control is to put food in my body. Even if I don't want to. Buy it if necessary. Drinking something other than coffee is good, too.  I'm ALWAYS drinking herb tea, even when down in the deepest, darkest hole.  It's become a good habit for me -  and a good habit is hard to come by....Juices are good, too, especially when I'm not feeling like eating; they are such a good little injection of nutrients.  Dark chocolate is also a favourite, though I wouldn't advise relying on it as the sole source of nutrients!
 
#2 LET THE INNER BITCH  OFF HER LEASH - at least momentarily
I'd have to say that at least half of my angst in life is caused by my own harsh judgements of myself.  When I think something particularly putrid, or speak whilst inhabiting a space of anger, or behave in a way which is deliberately hurtful to myself or someone else, my inner critic surfaces and I am slayed.  I expend such energy in restraining myself, keeping the bitch in her box - it's exhausting! So I'm experimenting with letting her out a little....accepting that if I am in fact a multifaceted being,  I must have some facets which are less than luminous, surely.
I'm being judicious, of course, about where and when she has free rein. My kids don't have to see her, for example.
But, really, I am so restricted by the imperative to always behave impeccably. I have such a deep ethical streak that my expectations of myself are often unattainable and I come off feeling worthless, defeated.  And it drives me to distraction that other people don't necessarily have the same imperative to behave well, and decently.
 
I'm also allowing myself to trust my gut instinct, rather than rationalising and being overly tolerant.  My instinct is so often proven right, with time, and yet when faced with a gut reaction to a person or situation, I then tend to use it as a reason to lash myself for being judgemental or risk averse.
 
So, this week I've said some wildly inappropriate things, and I've drunk alcohol recreationally (NOT that I advise this as a general coping mechanism - it's just an interesting development in terms of MY journey), and I've opened myself up a little more to unpredictable behaviour in myself.  I think I'm still stupidly sensible and responsible, but maybe just a little less so.
 
 
......and so far so good. Today I laughed myself stupid, listened to some great live music, immersed myself in conversation with strangers, and ate three meals. I must say, I'm feeling much better for it.